Lucky Nickel's Grand Tour

We’re trying something very new here at Go Stay Work Play Live World Headquarters on board the Lucky Nickel. Having had that very expensive mechanical work done, the boat is in the best shape it’s ever been in. (Note: this doesn’t mean it’s actually in GREAT shape, just much much better than when I started.) With no immediate work to fill the schedule, and the longest days of the year stretching out before me, I decided it was finally time to take this old boat out for a proper run around the canals. To that end, I mapped out a very long route, recruited a few potential crew members, and stocked up.

The rough plan is to proceed north up the Grand Union through Hemel Hempstead, Tring, Milton Keynes and Blisworth. Turning west around Daventry through Braunston, then South at Napton on the Oxford Canal and through Banbury & Oxford. That’s where I’ll meet the Thames and head along the winding non-tidal portion of the river through all the greatest hits - Reading, Henley, Maidenhead, Windsor, Staines, Shepperton and Teddington. And finally a short but bracing sprint along the tidal Thames and back into the comforting embrace of the Grand Union at Brentford Lock.

And so that’s what I’m doing. As I write this it’s Day 4, and my plan is to send out short but more frequent blogs with a few highlights every few days. So here’s a quick overview of the first three days:

Day 1, Le Grand Depart, Hayes & Harlington to Croxley:

Proudly flying the flag, off we go!

Left Hayes & Harlington at 7am and picked up my first crew of the voyage, Jeremy and Paola, near Uxbridge station. It was a warm day and it was great to have two willing friends to work the locks for the first day of the trip. 

Entering Denham Deep Lock - the deepest lock on the Grand Union. This lock marks the furthest north I'd ever taken the boat. Beyond here be dragons.

Paola at the tiller. With prosecco. Because that's the kind of boat this is.

Jeremy and Paola working a lock gate. Well, Paola working a lock gate and Jeremy looking on cheerily

I also recorded the first accident report of the trip when the ratchet on a gate paddle slipped and my lock key/windlass spun and whacked me sharply on the nose. There are 176 to negotiate on this trip. This was at lock #2. Off to a flying start. Luckily nothing is broken, though I did spend a bit of time later that evening with a bag of frozen peas on my face. No lasting damage.

On Day 1 we completed 13 miles plus 11 locks, for 23 Lock/Miles. Get used to that metric. Because it takes (very) roughly the same amount of time to work through as lock as it takes to travel one mile of canal. So our pace that day was 2.5 lock miles per hour. And Croxley Station, where Jeremy and Paola departed, is actually still on the underground system, so 7 hours of hard graft and 23 lock miles and my Oyster Card was still useful. The slowness of this form of travel will be an ongoing theme. Brace yourself.

And sadly the engine is burning a lot of oil, which makes a lot of fumes. It’s an old engine, so this isn’t surprising, but it means that being at the tiller all day gets you a snoot full of diesel and burnt oil, so I was a bit loopy by the time I made it to:

First pub of the trip - the Red House, Croxley. Where I had a very well deserved pint and a curry and then slept like the dead. (Note: I actually slept on the boat, not at the pub.)

Day 2, Croxley to Hemel Hempsted:

Joined by new crew, Piran who arrived complete with fancy dress (including two different hats) and sun cream, so that’s a good start. 

Approaching a lock - all the locks so far are climbing, as we follow the canal on the way up the Chilterns

First Mate Piran at the mooring, with the pub #2 in the background, and a handy pedestrian bridge to get us there as quickly as possible. 

Besides that perfect mooring, we also found a nearby automotive supply shop which might help with the oil fumes. 

Completed 7 miles and 12 locks, 19 lock miles at about 2.4 LMph. Once we moored Piran checked Google maps and determined that to drive from where we started to where we finished would have taken 18 minutes. This was slightly dispiriting. Travelling on a canal boat is literally slower than walking. However, if you want to transport a few tons of boat-shaped steel and all your belongings at the same time it’s actually sort of economical. Speed is not the point; I need to keep reminding myself of that.

Day 3: Hemel Hempsted to Tring

A big day - Piran and I got our double-act locking system finely honed so we were maximally efficient in getting through what will probably be the most locks in one day in the whole trip - 22 in total, over 9 and a half miles. 31.5 lock miles in about 10 hours. Epic.

And there were so many highlights!

Starting with an early morning visit to the Kent Brush Company - brush makers since 1777 and, by royal appointment, also brush makers to Her Majesty the Queen. Of course we bought brushes. Tooth brushes. Hair brushes. Nail brushes. Even right-handed beard brushes.

Thank you Aspley Auto Spares for this tin of viscous awesomeness, seen here warming in a bowl of hot water to make it liquid enough to pour into my poor old engine. It helped mitigate the smoke and fumes some.

And there was the Winkwell Swing Bridge! It’s mechanised so you can stop traffic and swing it out of the way to allow boats to pass! This was immensely satisfying. I can’t believe they let anyone with a British Waterways Boater’s Key rock up and work this thing!

This pub was literally right at a lock, meaning it was sort of mandatory for us to have a small drink while we were waiting for the lock to fill. 

And so we did. Thank you to pub #3 of the trip, the Rising Sun

Ee also visited the ruins of Berkhamsted Castle, and then pub #4, the Crystal Palace, where once again the boat and pub could hardly have been closer.

Somewhere along the way I managed to whack myself with a windlass again, this time on the shin. This trip is certainly taking its toll. But even after all that we still managed to make it to Tring before dark. The section of canal at Tring is the highest point I'll visit in the system meaning that from now on all locks descend to sea level at the Thames. Piran got a late train back to London and I had a long-deserved shower and fell into bed. Amusingly, when I started the trip I had this idea that at the end of a day on the boat I’d want to go out for a run. Bwahahahahahahaha! Working locks is physically demanding and exhausting. No need to be a hero. By the end of the Day 3 all I wanted was a G&T and a pillow.

Day 4: Tring to Bulbourne Junction

Back down to a skeleton crew, meaning it’s just me for a while. I’m getting to a section of canal where there won’t be easy station access, plus it's mid-week, so no extra crew. This means I'll be going EVEN SLOWER, because working locks on your own is really tedious and time consuming. Slept in today and planned a very very short hop up the canal - 1.5 miles and no locks. It’s basically a day off! There were some local sites to see, and four days in I already need a break. Spent the morning reassessing my schedule based on the timing from the previous three days. Then I went to Tring!

The Tring Natural History Museum, which is fantastic and home to an amazing story of a heist caper you won't believe. Listen to it here.

The Tring Museum is a classic along the same line as Kelvingrove and the Horniman

I also cycled over to this, which seemed an appropriate pilgrimage.

The Bridgewater Monument, in honour of the Duke of Bridgewater, the“Father of the Inland Waterway”, who built the first canal in England. You can climb up the inside for fabulous views but only on weekends and bank holidays, not random Tuesdays. 

Then it was back to the boat, where I did actually manage a run and dinner and finally got a blog going, meaning you’re now all caught up. Stay tuned for more of these short posts as I go along. Less text, more photos, and ongoing highlights and lowlights from Lucky Nickel’s Grand Tour.